Everyone has a voice in their head that provides a sort of
incessant chatter as internal background noise to their daily lives. I think,
for most people, this voice is kind of like that slightly annoying friend that
you drag along with you out to the bar just so you don’t have to be alone with
yourself. Present but irritating. The voice in my head is loud. And derisive.
And judgmental. It is obsessive. It counts. It assumes the worst and talks
through so many hypothetical situations that sleep is the only welcome coma
that shuts it up.
My life has been a bit of a whirlwind adventure lately.
After a lifetime of wait-and-see-and-hope-for-the-best, I was accepted into the Masters of Theatre program at the
University of Oregon with a Graduate Teaching Fellowship. I was in shock. I am
in shock. My parents generously arranged a trip out to visit Eugene this past
week. 3000 miles of uncertainty and what-ifs later, my father and I arrived in
Oregon (my first visit to the Pacific Northwest) and something strange
happened. The obsessive voice in my head, that stresses over every tiny detail,
every possible outcome... was Quiet. It has continued to be Quiet.
For the first time in my life, I have been given a peace and faith that for me, can only come from God and finding a path.
I am okay. Everything is okay. Things will be okay.
I like the Quiet.
We're going to Oregon.-les
